Hindsight is a great thing don’t you think? That moment of clarity when you realise you have been there, done that and come through the other side. You can see the signs. Those behaviours, that at the time ,you were living but didn’t see. The nose in front of your face if you will. That when you see it in others you ponder how to help. If in deed you can.
As I have said previously that I feel that I have grown a lot as a person this last year. Some of that I’m sure is the been there, done that mindset. Being able to learn from those situations. Also finding the ability to take a step back and realise that, in the grand scheme of things, not everything, that in the heat of the moment, is actually that earth shatteringly important. Funny how life throws hurdles your way that makes you re-evaluate everything. Giving you a different perspective. Parkinson’s has certainly been one of them. Maybe mix that a little with age.
This blog has been so eye opening for me. Taking that time to reflect and be openly honest about me, my feelings, the things that scare the crap out of me, all from the safety of my laptop. Things that, face to face, I wouldn’t be able to put into words. Not even want to address. Again for those that have been with me on this journey; thank you. I do think without this therapy I wouldn’t be able to deal with things as well as I find I can these days. It’s not perfect but certainly a lot better. This my lot and I have to make the most of it.
So when you see someone in that place, struggling with their lot, can you actually give them the benefit of your been there revelations? I’m not sure that you can. That is sad. However I’m a realist. Would I have listened? Maybe, but not necessarily with both ears. I don’t think you can move on, I guess, until you want to. You need to have reached that point when you know, deep down, something has to change. You are ready to work on making it change. Do something to help yourself.
Are you more aware of the signs when you have lived it? The constant sighing. The repeating of depressive phrases. The moaning about not seeing anything good to look forward too. I want to apologise for all the times I did that. I’m profoundly sorry. I’ll admit I still sigh a lot but now I think that is more out of exasperation of other peoples stupid behaviour. Sadly it’s more often than I’d like.
You also then have to throw hormones into the female mix. That period of our lives when mother nature is really not playing nice. When up is down and we have no idea where we are in that equation. We need to empower ourselves, research and see what works for us because if we don’t no one else will help. Trial and error. Been there and done that, and this worked for me has never been more relevant.
I guess I used to be the no, not for me person. It’s different. That’s not what I’m saying. Chalk is cheese female. Now I still have my strong views but I’m finding myself more willing to listen to suggestions. That, this might work for you, look into it comment. Please do not tell me I have to do something. That still will not work. My stubborn DNA has not vanished. However if you can offer a word or two of wisdom, I’ll take it.
Going forward being supportive is all you can do. Repeat your been there, done that revelations in a nice way and keep your fingers crossed. I’m not saying that you have to do it indefinitely. At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first, when things get tough. Maybe, like me, they’ll find a way through to the other side in unexpected ways. My goodness, in that sense, I have been lucky. E x