So many hard decisions. Is it too much to want life not to throw so many at once. I mean come on, cut me some slack here. My mind can only cope with so many what if scenarios at one time. I am not a look at the situation and run with it person. Hubby is the laid back, take it in his stride party … me I want to look at it from all angles. Even if it means making some up. So here we are with some big decisions to make. Some of those we can’t yet as they are in the hands of others but it doesn’t stop me second guessing.
Then I get possible curve ball situation that I am told not to worry about. Yeah thanks for that. I would have preferred ignorance with that right now. Why do I need to stress myself out on things that don’t need me to … just yet anyway? I wish I knew. Yes I hear you break it down and deal with what you can control at this moment. I can do this. Step back. Deep breath. One step at a time.
So what can I deliberate at this moment? My other writing project. I’ve done my research. I made one decision and brought a book to help me figure out the processes that I would need to take for it to see the light of day. Oh man I learnt a lot. There was so many things that I hadn’t considered. I guess once I got into the process I would have but would I have cut a few corners? Possibly. So now I have more things to decide before I can take the plunge. But….. yeah wait for it as we all know there is always a but.
Cost! As with all things there is a price tag. This is an occasion where I am going to have to ask myself can I put the money where my mouth is? Can I justify the outlay for what is likely to be no return. I need to manage the ideal dream to the likely reality. I can hear the voices telling me what to do. No I am not crazy. I mean I can hear the other side of the conversations I would have with the people who have been behind me on this dream. That I deserve to do this. I never treat myself and I can’t know the return will be nothing: I need more faith in myself.
For me it comes back to the difference between want and need. I want to do this but do I need to do it? I think today they have become too blurred. People can confuse the two to justify their actions. For me they are very clear cut. I may desperately want to see this project to completion but do I need it? Sure if it is a success it could change my life but (yes there goes another one) if I fall flat on my face its a chunk of money wasted. If the returns are good the curveball may be easier to deal with. I may even be able to take a bat to it.
Can I just be happy knowing that I have written a book? I mean that what it boils down to isn’t it? It’s written. Does it need to see the light of day? I’ve proved that to myself. It was even easier that I thought it was going to be to get it done. It actually didn’t give me as many sleepless nights as I was expecting. Husband will back me whatever I decide. He just wants me to be happy.
The sensible side of me always wins over the things my heart wants. I fear this will be no different. However just for once is it ok for me to be selfish? Do something that is just for me? So for now I will work on taking this forward until I need to start to outlay funds and by then hopefully I will be able to make a decision. While I wrestle with this I hope that where ever you are at this moment; you are nailing it. I know you can. I just need to find that belief in myself Ex
You really need to have more confidence in your abilities! If you don’t take that jump you will always regret it and never know if you could have been an author!
I think your money will be well spent, you have to speculate to accumulate!!