A Quiet Hug

I have been going with my husband to the allotment at the weekends. There are other things that I should be doing but I don’t get to enjoy the outside very often and I find myself craving the peace and quiet. You don’t get it all the time as it is near a main road but other times it is just the sound of the river, the trees swaying with the breeze and water system refilling. It is his domain so I let him get on with it and assist when required so I am usually armed with laptop or pen and paper.

You would think that with the peace and nothing but nature for inspiration I should be very productive. Trust me so far I have not been. I just find myself watching the wildlife. The ducks swimming effortlessly up the river, people walking their dogs, the butterfly flitting from plant to plant. Its also just nice to watch my husband in his happy place. He loves being outside and growing things. He has worked outside all his life so time on the allotment is all good.

There are people who love the peace and those that crave company. I am certainly the first group so much so that I label myself as selfishly antisocial. Don’t get me wrong I am that person that will smile and say good morning when seeing a regular face on my way to work. I may be the only person to acknowledge them all day. There are times I want to be around people, not necessarily to chat but just to be among others. Some days in the office I don’t speak to anyone. It doesn’t bother me. The radio is on, that is my company, just a little back ground noise as the hum of the lighting can grate.

The people that fall into the second group I have to be in the right mindset to cope with as I find they usually have the need to constantly talk. Its doesn’t matter about what they just need to converse. My husband says its like someone has wound them up and they just can’t stop. There are a couple we come across regularly and when we are on our own he will ask ‘do they ever shut up?’ He does have a point and I wonder if they are still talking when they are asleep.

I know there are times when people need to talk and that is fine. I am good to listen. I will offer my opinion when asked or just let you unload. Just the same there are times when you just need some to do nothing more than sit there and just be. No talking. I can do that too. My sister has done that for me at one of the hardest times of my life. Without me asking she just turned up and sat next to me. She didn’t speak unless I did. That was everything I needed at that time. To know I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to explain how I was feeling. I could just feel. It wasn’t uncomfortable. That silence. It was like a quiet hug.

For me that is an important trait. To be able to read the room. To know what that other person needs. I think to be able to do that you probably need to know the person well or have very good instincts. Too many people find silence uncomfortable so fill it with mindless chatter. Do you know what I mean? When it gets to that point when you are asking yourself; why do you think I care about that? Is it acceptable to at that point say, ‘for the love of all things holy put a zip in it?’ I have been in the position that in my head I am yelling shut up or words to that effect. At that point I find myself getting up and moving away. Better that than the alternative.

Wanting that down time is no bad thing if that is what you like. So if you find yourself just sat enjoying the environment when you should be doing something else. Don’t beat yourself up. Enjoy it. I would. Ex