Man, this is getting hard. I wonder how thin someone can spread themselves. How long you can function on nothing but fumes. At what point the tired feeling overwhelms you and you just curl up, sigh and let sleep wash over you. Can it get that bad or do you find a way to struggle on?
I can’t honestly remember the last time I slept the night through. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that a uninterrupted nights sleep is now firmly relegated into my history. We’ve all been told how important a decent nights sleep is. The hints, tips and suggestions to ensure you get your eight hours, or how many you need to function. In an ideal world, but we don’t have that.
Cut back stress, don’t drink caffeine after 2pm, have screen free time before bed, stay hydrated, exercise, don’t drink or smoke… OK some of those need work but they’ve never interrupted my sleep patterns before. Apart from stress, that has always won in the keep me awake category. So why am I now so tired?
Hubby is dreaming a lot more, so that makes him fidgety. He is lashing out. Is that directly the Parkinson’s? Is it the medication? We don’t know but there is no point in asking the question as you never seem to get a straight answer. I know his stress levels affect his dreams and at the moment he is worried about tests, not the results, the actual tests. If he has restless nights, I don’t sleep well hence I am more tired.
Take the spare bed, I hear people say. Don’t have one. Sleep on the couch. Don’t have one. I’ve been known to sleep on the floor, literally, but I think those days are behind me as the last time I struggled to get moving after. I might get a full nights sleep and not be so tired but my back might be out of sorts… is it worth that? I could be out of action for weeks.
Then you get the vicious circle. Things have got too much and you are tired. Can cry at the drop of a hat, tired. Life then cruelly laughs at you and throws more poop your way, daring you to buckle. You try to dodge it but trip over your own feet.
More stress means less sleep which equates to even more tired. People rear their heads. Ones that you have distanced yourself from and you are forced to deal with them. They stress you at the best of times. Now? You want to run for the hills and hide but you won’t give them the satisfaction. Hey what’s a few more sleepless nights? The bags and dark circles under your eyes are really fetching.
The reason for them reappearing also means more work for you. Even more balls to juggle. It’s alright, they are doing the heavy lifting they say. Right of course you are. My to do list has just exploded with new items. They are pushing for these things to jump to the top of the pile. I look at it with the hopes of crossing some items off to make it more manageable and less daunting. What do I pick? The things I want to do for me. Simply because …
So on I plod. Slower than normal but I deal with it, hoping that I don’t mess up and make even more work for myself. If tired wins and I fall asleep; possibly upright, I apologise for snoring. Just work around me; quietly if you would be so kind. Hopefully normal service will resume soon. Maybe after forty winks. E x