How do you feel about talking therapy? Me I am going to hands down say it’s not for me. The idea of sitting about in a group telling a bunch of strangers the things that are weighing me down is so far outside my comfort zone. In my head I can hear the comments. ‘No one is there to judge.’ ‘A problem shared…’ ‘We are all in the same boat.’ If you are happy doing that good. Like I have said previously there is no right way and you have to do what is right for you.
I bet there are those of you who will roll your eyes and say ‘oh she doesn’t like talking but puts all her thoughts in a book.’ Yep – guilty as charged. I can edit. I can let it all out and hit delete. When I stumble putting my thoughts into words no one will notice or take what I am trying to say the wrong way. Lets face it these days we know how easy it is to offend.
Talking about my frustrations with people who are in the same boat also feels a little mean. They are suffering too so I don’t want to lay my problems on their shoulders, they have enough of their own. Please don’t say that you should leave the issues at the door because that is not me. I’ll shove those suckers in a massive sack and throw it over my shoulder and take it home. That is just who I am.
Another thing that doesn’t work for me is scheduling when I get to sit around talking about my problems. Hello people if I don’t share to those nearest and dearest I’m not going to talk on demand. The talking only happens when I am at the point I have to unload. The chances of that happening that exact moment someone tells me it is my time to talk is slim to non-existent.
The groups where people touch base and call you to make sure you are doing OK are never going to coincide with that moment when you are desperate for someone to sit and listen. I’ve had those calls. ‘Just checking in to see how things are.’ Always when I am having a good day and I’m not going to start talking about the problems and make it not a good day.
I know they tell you to make notes. Notes that when I read them back I think. Yeah that was relevant then but now…maybe not so much. That really got my goat that day but do you know what its not that important. I’ve dealt with it so no point rehashing it. That was a bad day made worse by this person or that situation and its not relevant to my problems. There are so many variables.
In no way am I saying that there should be no talking going on. There has to be some or that pressure cooker of feelings, frustrations and emotions is going to explode and cause an almighty mess. You just need to figure out what works best. A quick call to your bestie. Maybe a online messaging session with a friend where you can reply when its convenient. I’ll even say if you want to have a talk with yourself go for it I am not here to judge.
Talking is only beneficial if it helps, not adds pressure. Some people may need to be coerced into talking. Me I have to feel comfortable and want to. Also the person I am talking to needs to make me feel like they care, not just listening because they are being paid to. So if you want to unload, I’m at the the end of a message. You are not alone Ex